


Eliza, I'm Sorry I Made You Cry: An Unnecessary Fanfic for schnugglebug's AU

by I May Age Regress (shnuffeluv)



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Age Play, Characters Watching The Little Mermaid (1989), Diapers, Essays, Gen, How Do I Tag, Non-Sexual Age Play, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pacifiers, Turtles, bottles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-29
Updated: 2017-05-01
Packaged: 2018-10-25 04:48:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10757028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shnuffeluv/pseuds/I%20May%20Age%20Regress
Summary: InHamiltots, Hamilton writes a guide for Eliza, filled with instructions on how to deal with him. This is my personal headcanon about what was inside. WIP





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> Gosh, this is going to be so bad...I'm sorry. XD But, hey, I have permission to butcher the series from schnugglebug herself, and I'm going to do my best to avoid it! Each chapter is the length of one page in Google Docs. So, by the end, we should have 52 pages. Here's hoping. ;)

I. Preface

Eliza, before I say anything else, I must say this: I am truly sorry that I did not tell you about my age play. I must confess that I don’t entirely know why I didn’t want to tell you, I just wanted to keep you by my side, even if that meant you could never know this particular side of me. I want you to know that no matter what, I do love you, and no one could replace you. And I didn’t want to, so I decided that I couldn’t let you know about this. It is not that I didn’t trust you, or that I didn’t want to tell you. I was more worried about you hating me than I was about anything else, so I kept quiet.

If it is any consolation, you are not the last one to know. There are several people in the office who are left completely in the dark about this (though the ones who do know might surprise you). When in doubt about anything that I have not listed here, I suggest you ask Jefferson about it. If Jefferson doesn’t know or cannot be reached (which is highly unlikely unless he’s acting like he normally does) you can always ask the president. And no, I’m not joking. It’s impossible to keep secrets from that man. You don’t really want to know how he found out, by the way. Or rather, you might, but Jefferson and I will never tell you.

Now that we have gotten past the apology stage, I should get to the bottom of what this is about. If the title did not give it away, it is everything you need to know to take care of me when I get little. There will be some things in here that make sense, and some that don’t, and some that are pure speculation because they have never happened before. At the bottom of it, though, you should always know that the best thing you can do is trust your instincts. You have managed to raise eight children, and I must confess that I was not as much of a help as I could have been. Your instincts will most likely become your best asset in situations which may not come up in this guide, either because they have not happened before or I simply forgot them (which I actually doubt will happen, but we always have to have that room for error).

This will also be more or less a combination of both my big and little sides speaking, so don’t be alarmed if the writing style suddenly changes. It’s simply because one headspace has more control over the other, and is therefore writing as such. Although, I must confess that fully in headspace, I am rather unfamiliar with writing, simply because there are so many words that would work, and it seems impossible to find the right one. But I digress. Without any more delay, provided there are no life or death emergencies before I’m done, I present to you my guide on how to take care of the most stubborn, ornery, difficult, and in general horrible little to deal with: myself.


	2. Chapter 2

II. Headspace

I must confess that I am rather confused as to how my headspace works. It feels as if one moment, I am a competent adult, I can handle things on my own, even if I may appreciate help, and the next I just  _ need _ someone there to make sure that I am all right, that I take care of myself, that I am not in any immediate danger, and most importantly, that I am comforted. It is most often described as a drop, and that’s an accurate description. I’ve fallen into the deep end of adulthood, and I need someone to lead me out of it because I can no longer handle it.

According to those who have seen me while in headspace, and my own feelings toward it, my best guess is that I fall to about the age of a two year old. And with all of the ups that come with it, such as feelings of great security, and cuddling, and love, there also come the tantrums, the fear, and of course, the hiding.

If, by some miracle, describing what it feels like in headspace helps you better understand how to help me, I will describe it here for you.

The first thing you have to know about is the slowness. There is something about being in headspace that makes it harder to make connections like most people can do without effort. These connections can still be made, but it takes much longer, and it’s easier for things to be spelled out for me than expecting me to make connections automatically. Don’t treat me like I’m stupid, just give me a reason for what you’re doing so that I don’t have to find one myself.

If I were to compare being little to anything else in my life I have experienced, I must say that it feels like being drunk, complete with emotional baggage. Everything is a much bigger deal in headspace. Even not receiving dinner right away can seem a bigger scandal than any act of high treason could ever be. Expect large reactions over small occurrences. It is not unheard of for my emotions to be running high right before I feel little, as well. Jefferson seems to think that is my two headspaces fighting for control, and my little space often wins by making me emotional. Don’t be surprised if when my emotions run high, you are greeted by Alex in the middle of an argument. On second thought, don’t be surprised if I try and avoid arguing altogether. There is only so much of that I can take (shocking, I know), and most of my tolerance for it is taken up by the ins and outs of work.

I will go into more detail about different parts of my headspace in future sections, but I do believe this general overview will suffice for basic information needed before I go into any deeper analysis of individual parts.


	3. Chapter 3

III. Necessary Materials

There are a few things that should be kept at hand in case of a drop, and most of these things are more practicality than anything else. There are a few things that would simply be nice to have around, but are not necessary.

  1. Diapers - This is absolutely necessary, no ifs, ands, or buts. There is no way to tell when I might need to use the bathroom in my headspace
  2. Pacifier(s) - Would be nice to have on hand, but are not necessary. They would, however, help me calm down faster
  3. John - He might not be at the house when I drop, but if I drop at the office and you get called in, chances are I’m going to need John and you might need to find him for me
  4. Sweatpants/Sweatshirt - Not necessary by any means, but they feel better than my adult clothes, and the bigger they are the smaller I’ll feel
  5. The Little Mermaid - Again, not necessary. However, it will keep me occupied if nothing else will, and it’s certainly nice for cuddling
  6. Bottles - I prefer these to sippy cups, and it feels so comforting when someone feeds me a bottle rather than hands me a sippy cup and expects me to do something myself
  7. Baby powder/Rash cream - These might help with changes and make them easier on everyone, though they aren’t necessary unless something comes up



These are all the most important things that might be needed, as they are the first that come to mind. However, more (or less) than this is acceptable. No one can have everything they want, and so long as I don’t have an accident every so often, we should be okay.

Jefferson will read me Harry Potter before bed, and I don’t expect you to do the same, but I do enjoy bedtime stories almost as much as I enjoy watching movies. If you want me to sleep easy, either of these things should have me out like a light within minutes.

I do have a tendency to get antsy around caregivers if there are raised voices or loud noises in general, and this is especially where a pacifier and physical comfort can be helpful.

There are more reasons for every single supply on this list, some of which are from past experience and some are common logic based on my previous actions and projecting what might happen based on continuing those actions further. I will not bore you with the details, if you trust me that this is important to have on hand.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sassy!Hamilton is my favorite Hamilton. Especially when he's irritating Jefferson. XD

IV. When I Need a Break

Not that I will ever admit to this (and never tell Jefferson what I’m about to tell you), but sometimes I work myself too hard. And when that happens, everything around me gets tuned out, including my need to eat, sleep, and drink. I have been told that this behavior is “not good” by multiple parties, and to avoid this in the future you should know that sometimes, you may have to coax me into dropping in order to ensure that someone, anyone is taking care of my needs.

Usually all this will take is someone pulling me away from my work long enough for me to register that the person is offering me John or a chance to be small. However getting to that point can be rather difficult. Jefferson has often said he might start using a spray bottle to grab my attention, to which I usually respond that if he ever dares get my computer wet, I will personally tear every single one of his essays to shreds and throw them in the nearest pool. Usually in public, because that would certainly make a statement he does not want to hear.

Some suggestions I have to resolve that situation are drastic, but about the only things that I have found to work:

  1. Unplug my computer - I will hate you briefly until I can recover what I was working on but otherwise you have my full attention
  2. Forcibly pull me away from my work - I will fight back, so be prepared for that but otherwise this should work
  3. Give me something that makes me feel little - whether this is a pacifier in the mouth, or John in my hands, once I register what it is, I usually experience a quick drop



Once I do drop, you’re going to need to work fast. I’m most likely going to be struggling to stay big, even if I appear little for all intents and purposes on the outside. You need to assure me that it is okay to be little at this point in time, and most likely get me away from my work, because that’s a guaranteed reminder that I should be big and working, even if I do need a break. (Again, if you ever tell this to Jefferson, the consequences will be favorable to no one, so I trust you to keep this a secret.)

This break may be as short as half an hour or as long as the rest of the day, and most of what you need to do to keep me content is feed me the bare minimum of what will keep me awake and working, give me something to drink such as milk or juice, and keep physical contact as much as possible. If needed, I will fall asleep while little, as I find it hard to sleep in any other state, and my body seems to enjoy the chance for a nap. Beyond this, there is not much you need to do; I’m fairly low-maintenance.

**Author's Note:**

> If you have an idea about a topic which I should include, please let me know! I'm not sure I can include 52 pages on my own!


End file.
